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It's not natural for dogs to be alone, so it will take some time, patience, positivity and a good plan to help our pups build some good healthy habits along with confidence and independence!
The goal will be to offer micro-doses of "loneliness" when we're just behind the door, or just around the corner, or just a few feet away- so they can get control of that small irrational worry, while we're still there to prove it's irrational (we didn't leave them).
Important new rules:
1) Neutral exits lead to boring returns. We stay calm and help them understand that there's no reason to be worried or feel the need to be constantly glued to us. It's unhealthy for them, they simply don't know what to do instead.
2) Give them other things to do that are not right next to you. Use the down/stay on their bed with a chew bone or toy while you go into the restroom, so they have a task to be doing.
*Read more about anxiety vs distress HERE.
Different activities to help our pups become more comfortable when left alone:
1) Leave their kennel or pen open throughout the day when possible so it's not just a closed space but can be enjoyed and visited whenever they'd like
2) Practice leaving them alone in different rooms of the house, for varying amounts of time
3) Always greet your dog calmly, with no eye contact, and quietly ask for simple cues so you can gently praise, pet, and engage. We expect the same from them, good manners.
4) Practice stepping out of view for short periods of time, frequently.
5) Work on down/stay so it is solid! Your goal should be a down/stay for 5 minutes, from 15 feet away and out of the line of sight.
6) Switch up your "getting ready to leave" routine. Some dogs start to get anxious in anticipation of your departure. Get creative and have fun with it. Instead of grabbing your keys last, grab them before your shower. Instead of putting your jacket on while walking out the door, put it on earlier and take it off again, repeating this a few more times. Leave the house without following any regular routine now and then, and come back within a few seconds as nothing happened, ignoring your pup when you return.
7) Keep their brain busy with food puzzles and treat-stuffed toys.
8) Feed, play with, pet, and hang out with them and have them sleep in their confinement area.
9) Having dogs be our shadow is not healthy for them. It makes them dependent on our presence to be ok and THAT in itself will create anxiety- so it's our fault!
10) Creating healthy physical boundaries is important. We want them to know they can go lay down across the room and be just fine, they don't have to be on our lap or under our feet or touching us. It's ok sometimes, but it's best if it only occurs when we invite them!
11) EXERCISE!!! This is an important factor for all dogs. If they're not getting enough physical and mental exercise- their mind will not be at ease! Click HERE for more details!
12) BRAIN GAMES! Keeping our pup's mind and mouth busy will help them be at ease. Click HERE for more details.
13) Ignore, get up and walk away when they're displaying any demanding, insecure, or clingy behaviors such as barking at, pawing, hiding behind you, jumping on you or your lap, nudging you, leaning on you, following you around. Click HERE for more details.
14) If you have to leave for more than 15 minutes, leave a GIFT! A special yummy high-value stuffed Kong toy for example. Click HERE for more details about confinement training.
*Use a mirror to see them without them seeing you- to check on them when doing confinement exercises.
*When working on independence distance and time, offer verbal praise from the other room when wanting to convey our approval of calm/quiet behaviors.
*If they hide behind you, step aside! If they're clingy and nervous, slowly walk away so they can learn to bravely conquer their fears, not use us as a shield. We remain calm and encouraging, this is not a punishment. If we don't work on this, they'll truly begin to think that they are NOT ok if you aren't close. This is a sad and unhealthy mindset and does more harm than good for their self-esteem, confidence, and overall sense of calm.
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